DEAR DEIDRE: I WAS stupid and cheated on my girlfriend. I had drunken sex with a girl I’d been at school with.
My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for 18 months. I’m 21 and she’s 20. We were talking about marriage and kids until I went out with a gang of mates for one’s 21st birthday.
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We were all totally battered when we caught the train home and I saw this girl I’d been at school with who had been out on a hen night. She’s my age. We got laughing and chatting. There weren’t any taxis at our station, so I said I’d walk her home.
She invited me in. She lives with her parents but they were in bed and we ended up having sex on the sofa. I was too far gone to think about using a condom.
She texted me the next morning and said it was great but we’d best not say anything to anyone. I thought we’d just move on.
Then my girlfriend developed symptoms of an STI a few weeks later. She didn’t say anything but went to a clinic. She came home raging because she’d caught an infection she reckoned must have come from me.
I denied it but she grabbed my phone. She found the texts between me and the girl. She threw my phone across the room, shouting and screaming.
My parents came in wanting to know what all the noise was about. She stormed off saying: “Your son is a waste of space who has given me another girl’s germs.”
My parents cross-examined me and they were furious too.
They insisted I must tell the girl from school about the infection because she would need treatment.
I texted her but she denied it could have been her and said my girlfriend must have cheated on me. Then she blocked me.
I then phoned her mum to say her daughter must get tested but she gave me a load of abuse and handed the phone to her husband, who threatened me.
I’ve lost my girlfriend and got a bucketload of trouble for this one slip. I’m now stuck at home with angry parents, no girlfriend and no social life. It feels unfair.
A SHOCKING 85,000 women are raped in England and Wales each year.
The rapist is likely to be someone the victim knows.
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DEIDRE SAYS: It is a tough lesson learned, sure enough, but all those messages you no doubt heard but ignored about being sensible around alcohol and using protection were aimed precisely at protecting you from consequences such as this.
Be responsible now. You must get treatment at the sexual health clinic and give them your schoolfriend’s details.
They will explain to her why it is important she get treated. You can find out what relevant services operate near you by calling the Sexual Health Line on 0300 123 7123.
Maybe your girlfriend will forgive you once she has calmed down. But make no excuses – you messed up.
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