DEAR DEIDRE: I WAS on a break from my fiancé – over him putting his dogs before me – when he slept with someone else.
I seem to come way down his list of priorities.
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We are both in our early thirties and have been engaged for four years. I thought we were happy until we had a massive row about his dogs.
He has four of them and likes them to sleep on the bed.
I don’t like the dogs there as I think it’s unhygienic.
Even worse, I got bitten when the dogs had a fight one night.
What maddened me was that my fiancé put the dogs outside for just the one night. When he let them back into his bedroom, I was upset and stormed off to my parents’ place.
That led to us not speaking for six weeks. But he persuaded me to come back to his place when the lockdown started.
Something didn’t feel right and then I noticed there was women’s shampoo in the bathroom.
He forgot his phone one day when he went out and I snooped on it. There were messages to one particular woman.
It was obvious they’d had sex – and that he’d cheated on her too. I’m so hurt as we weren’t on the break when he started cheating.
And it’s clear he’s still seeing her – though of course, he shouldn’t be.
I love him with all my heart and I don’t know how to talk to him about this.
DEIDRE SAYS: I know you love him but he shows so little respect for your feelings that I worry you will end up losing all your self-esteem.
You’ve got to do some plain talking. Tell him the cheating has to stop and the dogs must sleep elsewhere or your engagement is over.
If he doesn’t agree to that, he is never going to make you happy anyway and you had best move on.
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