DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE just found out I had sex with my fiance’s dad when I was a student and working as an escort to top up my income.

I’m a woman of 24 and I have been with my fiance for a year. We’re getting married next year.

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I work for an events company. My fiance is 27 and he’s got an online business which is just starting to make money.

His parents have an online business, too, and are now semi-retired.

They travel a lot so I haven’t had a chance to meet them before now, but they are throwing a virtual party on Zoom for his dad’s 50th birthday and, of course, we are both invited.

My fiance’s sister was putting together an album for her dad and asked my fiance to dig out his photographs of his dad.

I’d never seen pictures of his parents before. I came in from work and he had some photographs spread across the table.

To my horror, I recognised his dad.

I was trying to pay off my student loan three years ago, before I met my fiance, and a friend had recommended escort work.

She said the money was good and you didn’t have to have sex, but if you did you’d get a bonus.

I’d been working a couple of months when I met this older man in his 40s.

He looked great for his age and had a great sense of style. I’d never felt attracted to an older man before.

I had to sit with him through a boring dinner but afterwards he suggested we go back to his hotel.

He offered me a wodge of cash so I agreed. The sex was actually very good.

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My leaflet, Thinking Of A Threesome, will help you decide.

He knew what to do to make me feel good and bothered to take the trouble.

He offered me the same deal the following week as he was still in town.

It was amazing but I never heard from him again after that.

I’m so frightened now. Even on Zoom his dad is going to recognise me.

My fiance doesn’t know about my escort past. What shall I do?

DEIDRE SAYS: Stop panicking. You hadn’t even met your fiance back then but his father was very much married.

Chances are he’ll try to front it out and make out he’s never seen you or met you before, in which case, you can do the same.

But can you live with this secret? Are you always going to be able to put on a brave front when his dad is around – for decades?

Secrets like this have a nasty habit of coming out. Would it feel as though his father would have some hold over you now? Are you going to feel anxious at any family events?

You need to decide whether you can have a happy marriage with your fiance with this hanging over you. Some could put it to one side, others would find it eating away at them.

Talk it over with a counsellor. See bacp.co.uk to find a reputable counsellor near you. Most work online as well as face-to-face.

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