DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE been having the best sex of my life with my lover but when I ran into him at the supermarket with his mum last weekend, he totally ignored me.
We work for the same branch of a major firm, though we are both furloughed at the moment.
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I am 21, he is 23 and we both live with our mothers. I have a three-year-old son from a previous relationship.
This guy and I always got on well but we got close six months ago.
We had a few dates before we had sex, which turned out to be wonderful.
My mum is very understanding and gave us plenty of privacy from the start.
I was so happy and our relationship seemed perfect until one weekend a couple of months ago.
Mum was away with some old friends, so we had my little boy with us non-stop.
He wasn’t naughty or anything but two days with a three-year-old can be very full-on, of course.
My boyfriend broke up with me the next week.
There were no arguments — he said he just couldn’t accept my son and doesn’t want to be a father figure.
I was devastated because I’d fallen for him so hard.
After we split up, it was like nothing had changed — except we weren’t in a relationship and everything was on his terms.
We were furloughed shortly afterwards but have still been seeing one another when we can.
He parks round the corner from our house and only my mum knows we are still spending some nights together.
We are great together, he says he loves me but that nothing has changed — that he can’t be in a relationship with me and that what we share now is the most I can have.
But I was shocked when we ran across one another in the supermarket and he completely ignored me.
I know his mum doesn’t think I’m good enough for him because I am a single parent.
He didn’t even look at me. I couldn’t believe he would treat me like that. It hurts so much.
ALMOST a third of relationships is affected by cheating.
Their lovers are in a bad place too, falling for someone who isn’t free.
My e-leaflet Your Lover Not Free? can help.
For a copy email me at [email protected] or message me on Facebook.
DEIDRE SAYS: Please stop seeing him and having sex with him.
Of course there is the risk to your health and that of your mum and little boy – but this guy has no respect for you and your feelings.
He is using you for sex and offering no relationship, no respect and no care.
He might say he loves you but it is not a love worth having, as it is all about him and his needs.
I suspect he will be off as soon as lockdown lifts.
You deserve better than this guy is offering.
Give yourself the chance of a fresh start with someone who can commit and will enjoy your little boy as part of the package.
My e-leaflet Finding The Right Partner For You will help you think it through.
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