“I found myself last weekend covered in ranch dressing by my friend’s pool sunburnt looking like a piece of s—.”
Kelly Osbourne detailed her recent relapse in a candid conversation with Dax Shepard on the latest episode of his Armchair Expert podcast.
Osbourne recently revealed she relapsed after four years of sobriety, taking accountability for her behavior by posting about it on Instagram. Speaking with Shepard — who recently relapsed himself — she revealed how she started drinking again and when she realized she was in a bad place again.
“I was Miss Program. I love it, it was everything to me. It helped me grow up, it helped me figure out who I am,” she said of AA. “When quarantine happened and the world changed, I started to change too. I started doing online meetings and I didn’t like them. I got nothing out if it, they made me angry and resentful.”
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Over time, she stopped calling her sponsor and all of her friends started relapsing too. While she thought she had succeeded by making it through the “worst part of lockdown” without a slip, her downward spiral actually began when everything started going “incredible” for her.
“I’m the girl that when things go incredible and everything is where you think it should be and you suddenly find yourself in what you think happiness is, I went, ‘Oh, I’m normal now, I’m happy, I don’t need any of this f—ing s— anymore,” she explained. “And then I sat by a pool by myself, I saw this girl drinking a glass of champagne and thought, I’ll have one of them. And I just had one and it was fine and I had a great time.”
“Then a couple weeks went by and thought, ‘I did it then, I can do it again.’ Two weeks later, done. F—ing done,” she said. “Did not last long, did embarrassing s—, blacked out. It wasn’t fun.”
She clarified that she only drank and didn’t take any pills — because she’s also on anti-depressants and worried mixing anything else with them could lead to death.
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“In my mind I was still in control,” she continued. “It wasn’t until I found myself last weekend covered in ranch dressing by my friend’s pool sunburnt looking like a piece of s— where I went maybe I don’t have this under control.”
Osbourne also said she plopped herself on the couch on that day to watch her boyfriend Erik Bragg work out while she was drunk — and the look he gave her made her realize, “Okay, I’m done.” She called up her sponsor, signed up for therapy and posted her Instagram video revealing her relapse after that.
During the candid convo, Shepard also recalled going to meetings at the Osbournes’ home back in the day, when he too was on MTV. “I feel in love with both your mother and you in the process,” said Dax, “I would come over to a meeting and flirt with you and your mother just shamelessly for a half hour.”
“He would be like, ‘You’re gonna marry me when you grow up,'” Osbourne recalled.
Shepard also remembered thinking at the time how strange it was that addiction “escaped” Kelly, who said she was just “much better at hiding it” back in the day. “What I was doing, no one was looking at,” she added, saying everyone was distracted by Jack’s issues, her mother’s cancer battle and her father’s motorcycle accident.
Listen to the full conversation below:
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