Mum and fiancée are battling for my time and I can't please them both

DEAR DEIDRE: I’M caught in a tug of war between my mum and fiancée. I can’t seem to please them both.

I’m a 27-year-old man and my partner is 26. We’ve been together for three years.

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My mum’s 61 and she loves organising big family get-togethers.

We used to go to them every weekend but it got too much.

We hardly had any time to ourselves.

Now we only go every other weekend to see them.

But Mum takes our absence as a personal insult.

Her latest idea is for us and 12 other relatives to go to Spain for two weeks.

She’s made it clear it’s a three-line whip.

I don’t mind going just to avoid the aggro but my fiancée doesn’t want to come.

She says she can’t face spending our one holiday of the year with them.

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DEIDRE SAYS: It can be difficult for parents to accept their children are moving on with their lives.

It sounds like your mother could be worried she might lose you to your fiancée.

Try to reassure her that becoming more independent doesn’t lessen your love for her, but that for your own happiness you are beginning to establish a family of your own, which she will always be a part of.

Might your fiancée also be willing to compromise? Suggest spending a couple of days in Spain with your family, and the rest of the holiday alone as a couple

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