My boyfriend is insisting we have a baby because his ex is pregnant

Student, 24, reveals her boyfriend is desperate to have a baby with her after finding out ex he was with for seven years who he’s never ‘really spoken about’ is pregnant – and is warned that he’s ‘obsessed’ with another woman

  • A woman was blindsided when her boyfriend of two years said he wanted a baby
  • Taking to Reddit she revealed she soon discovered his ex-girlfriend is pregnant
  • Many slammed the boyfriend wondering if he wanted to have a baby ‘out of spite’

A veterinary student in a two-year relationship with her 28-year-old boyfriend was ‘shocked’ when he suddenly began insisting that they have a baby together – until she realised his ex-girlfriend was pregnant.

Taking to Reddit for advice, the anonymous woman, 24, believed to be from the US, shared her dilemma about her boyfriend’s suggestion because she doesn’t want kids ‘right now’ as she is focused on her career.

The woman said that ‘everything was great’ in their relationship until two weeks ago when she was blindsided by her boyfriend’s suggestion that they try to get pregnant.

Commenters rushed to give advice, with some claiming that he’s not over his ex. 

‘Move on, or everything he does in regards to relationship milestones will be done out of spite towards his ex,’ one advised. 

Another noted how her boyfriend wanted to ‘keep up’ with his ex and other relationship milestones could follow suit, warning her that he is ‘obsessed with a different woman’. 

A veterinary student, 24, in a two-year relationship, took to Reddit to reveal her 28-year-old boyfriend suddenly began insisting they have a baby together – after he found out his ex was pregnant (stock image)

Explaining the situation, the confused girlfriend wrote: ‘My boyfriend and I have been together since 2019. When we first started dating he mentioned that he had recently got out of an seven-year relationship but hasn’t really spoken about his ex girlfriend since.

‘Everything has been great. That is until two weeks ago when my partner started talking about us having a baby. 

‘I was shocked because it came out of nowhere. I do want kids, but not right now and he is very aware of that. I’m in veterinary school and my career is my main focus. 

After she probed him, she discovered that his former girlfriend of seven years was having a baby, leading her to ask why he was still ‘keeping tabs’ on his ex. 

‘When I started questioning him about it he told me that he doesn’t want to wait years and said and I quote, “everyone around us are having children”. Which is a pretty s**t reason to have a kid. 

Taking to Reddit , the anonymous woman shared her dilemma about her boyfriend’s suggestion as she doesn’t want kids ‘right now’ as she is focused on her career

‘I proceeded to ask him who that we know are having a baby. And he named my sister aaaaaand then name dropped his ex. I have no idea why he is still keeping tabs on his ex girlfriend especially when he’s with me. 

‘We had an argument but then he apologised the next day. But he is constantly telling me that I should get my IUD (birth control) removed. I keep telling him no but he keeps bringing it up.

‘I’m not really sure of what to do or how to make him drop this ridiculous idea. I’m hoping it’s just a phase.’

She concluded her post by asking members of the forum for advice on the situation – with many people warning her that this was potentially a form of coercive control.

Other Reddit users questioned her boyfriend’s motives for wanting to get pregnant, wondering if he wanted to ‘one up [his] ex’ or to have the baby ‘out of spite’. 

Many questioned her boyfriend’s motives for wanting to get pregnant, wondering if he wanted to ‘one up [his] ex’ or to have the baby ‘out of spite’

One wrote: ‘He’s trying to coerce you into pregnancy to keep up with his ex. Do you want to be proposed to right after his ex gets engaged? Married right after her? 

Another commented that the woman could be setting herself up for a difficult path ahead. 

‘Planning your second pregnancy as soon as she announces hers? This is the future he’s trying to set you up for,’ they said. ‘I wouldn’t want to be with someone who’s so clearly obsessed with a different woman.’

Others shared their pregnancy coercion horror stories, with one user saying that a similar situation happened to her sister but he sabotaged her birth control by ‘poking holes in their condoms’

Others shared their pregnancy coercion horror stories, with one user saying that a similar situation happened to her sister but he sabotaged her birth control by ‘poking holes in their condoms’.  

However, when it came to looking after the child he ‘left her all alone’.

They wrote: ‘My sister was in a situation like this where her boyfriend wanted kids and she didn’t. He started to poke holes in the condoms and threw out her birth control over until she had them. 

‘She had to drop out of school to take care of the baby and her boyfriend left her all alone. The fact that he is pressing you about your birth control after you told him you didn’t want kids yet is a huge red flag. I suggest you look up reproductive coercion. It is a serious issue that happens to millions of people all over the country.’

Meanwhile, another user revealed that a similar situation of one-upmanship took place with her brother-in-law and his ex.

They revealed that the former girlfriend copied his relationship milestones from getting married to having a baby ‘a few months’ after him, writing: ‘My sister and BIL [brother-in-law] got married and suddenly the girl he dated through college was getting married (to a guy she had been dating a few months). 

Some advised the woman to ‘dump’ her boyfriend and focus on her career, saying he was too ‘immature to be in a relationship right now and ‘still has feelings’ for his ex

‘When my sister announced her pregnancy, the ex was pregnant a few months later. Every major event my sister and [brother-in-law] have had, the ex has followed right behind a few months later. It’s always been weird. I’ve never understood why/how her SO [significant other] has put you with it. Is this the life you want for the next 20 years?’

And many others advised the woman to ‘dump’ her boyfriend and focus on her career, saying he was too ‘immature to be in a relationship right now and ‘still has feelings’ for his ex.

One user wrote: ‘Dump him. I’m being completely serious. He doesn’t value you as an equal partner who’s an actual person. You’re just a measuring stick to be compared to his ex.’

A second commented: ‘Do you want the father of your child to be someone hung up on his ex? Someone who wants to have a kid just because everyone else is? 

They continued: ‘Honestly, this guy is too immature to be in a relationship right now. When he can truly let go of his ex and live his own life regardless of what she does, then he is ready.’

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