My cheating husband has a secret four-year-old son with a girl at his gym

DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband and I had it all: Two happy sons, a successful businesses, comfortable home, holidays abroad and a good sex life.

But all that was ruined in an instant when I was doing some washing.

Sorting through my husband’s gym bag, I found an unfamiliar keyring. My stomach churned as I turned it over to see a picture of him with a new-born baby. It read: “Daddy’s first photo.” The baby was the image of him, with dark skin and hair.

My husband is Asian and runs an online clothing business, and I run a shop which sells some of his clothes.

After my discovery, he came out of the shower to find me on the bed in tears. He thought somebody had died but when I opened my hand with the keyring in it, his face dropped.

He said this baby was now almost four years old. He insisted the child was the result of a one-night stand that meant nothing.

DROWN YOUR SORROWS

In tough times, it is all too tempting to escape reality by boozing.

For the support pack Drink Problem? email [email protected]

Read my advice on Facebook, Twitter or at the-sun.co.uk/deidre

I demanded he hand me his phone. It had hundreds of pictures of this boy.

Worse still, I recognised the mother. She goes to his gym and looks about 30, while we are both 43. We’ve been together for 22 years and I love him so much.

I want to make our marriage work but after this betrayal I don’t know how.

He says he’s only seen this other son three or four times and the photos are sent by the mother but I’m not sure if I believe him.

I don’t know where we go from here. The cheating is hard enough to deal with but the constant reminder of his infidelity with this other child is what I’m really struggling with.

How do I tell my kids they have another brother?

Get in touch with Deidre today

My team and I are working safely from home but we are here to help you as always.

Send an email to [email protected]

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Follow me on Twitter @deardeidre.

DEIDRE SAYS: You have got a bumpy few months ahead if you are going to sort this out, but the worst is now over.

I hear from many couples who go through the trauma of infidelity. So often they realise they have too much to lose, work out where they have taken each other for granted and their relationship can end up stronger as a result.

It will take time for the trust to return but he may be telling the truth, that this was a one-night stand and he is paying the biggest price. That is little consolation but he has tried to do the right thing by being partly involved with his child.

Now everything is out in the open, it will be easier. You both need guidance on how to go forward, tell your sons about this brother and, difficult as it seems, integrate an innocent four-year-old into your family lives in some way.

Help is available online from Tavistock Relationships (tavistockrelationships.org, 020 7380 1960).

 

NEXT IN TODAY'S DEAR DEIDRE My abusive husband has given me a one-week ultimatum – do I leave him?

READ DEIDRE'S PHOTO CASEBOOK Joni's afraid to tell boyfriend Phil about neighbour Archie's love confession

GOT a story? RING The Sun on 0207 782 4104 or WHATSAPP on 07423720250 or EMAIL [email protected]

Source: Read Full Article