My husband of 25 years finally gave me a ring , but I want to leave

My husband finally gave me a wedding ring after 25 years of marriage – I want to leave him because he didn’t get down on one knee, but people say I’m overreacting

  • A woman took to Mumsnet to reveal how her partner of 25 years proposed 
  • READ MORE: Women reveal the moment they knew a relationship was doomed

A woman has revealed her humiliation at finally receiving an engagement ring from her partner of 25 years – who she claims didn’t even bother to get down on one knee.

The woman shared her personal story on the British parenting site Mumsnet, where she detailed her shock after her partner took out the ring and ‘pushed it’ over to her without even removing the packaging. 

To make matters worse, events unfolded in the couple’s living room in front of her family and four of their children.

The woman said the couple had been married for 25 years, but she’d never received an engagement ring and this was her husband’s attempt to make amends after ‘a lot of big let downs and going through hell with his family’. 

Although the mother picked out the ‘beautiful’ ring a week before, she was now completely devastated at her partner’s lacklustre approach – but commenters were divided with some claiming she was expecting too much, and others insisting there are bigger issues at play than the ring. 

A woman took to the British parenting forum Mumsnet to say she is embarrassed and ashamed at receiving an engagement ring from her partner, without him getting down on one knee (stock image)

She said on Mumsnet: ‘After over 25 years of marriage and five children, my husband finally bought me a wedding ring. He had not bothered to get one before.’

‘He passed this to me in front of a lot of family sitting in the living room. It was still in the big brown cardboard packaging box that it was delivered in.’ she added.

‘He hasn’t taken it out. He stayed on his chair and pushed it towards me in a paper bag. It took me a while to get it all open and get through all the brown packaging to the actual ring box.’

The woman said she felt shame and embarrassment over the ordeal and regrets ever accepting the engagement ring.

She continued: ‘It’s a beautiful ring (I had chosen it the week before at a shop and it had been delivered) but I’m actually completely devastated about the way he gave me it.’

‘I feel too ashamed and embarrassed to wear it and family members all sat and watched this exchange quite bemused, including four of of my kids.’

‘I’ve given it back to him to get a refund (30 days refund allowed) and feel I just can’t cope with this marriage any more. It was his way of trying to make the marriage work after a lot of big let downs and going through hell with his family.’

‘He keeps saying he loves me and is sorry for things. However I honestly can’t think of a way to ever manage to wear that ring because of the way it was given.’

The unnamed woman said the couple had been married for 25 years, but she’d never received an engagement ring

‘I’m just so embarrassed. He says he’s sorry and so on. I just feel absolutely devastated.’

More than 100 people replied to the post, with many advising the mother-of-five to leave the marriage.

One said: ‘That is really disappointing! I’m sorry he did that. It shows no thought or effort or attempt to make you feel special. Not even taking it out of the delivery box is disgusting and I would be seriously upset too.’

A fellow commenter echoed the same sentiment, saying: ‘It’s not about the ring, it’s about the effort.

‘And if it was supposed to be him making an effort after a let of let downs, then it’s pretty telling that he either can’t be bothered or just doesn’t get it.’

Some people were baffled and said they didn’t know what kind of gesture the wife was expecting after so many years 

Another added: ‘Sounds like the straw that broke the camel’s back. I’m so sorry. 

Do what’s right for you and if you are feeling some kind of way perhaps it is time to remove yourself from the marriage and find what makes you happy.’

A third said: ‘I think your marriage has been over for a very long time.’

After a string of people questioned why the woman was so disappointed, a commenter wrote: ‘I’m not sure why people don’t seem to be understanding the symbolism of the ring, and the disappointing and embarrassing way it was “handed” over. 

‘This was meant to be the husband making an effort to save his marriage and he failed to make it something special or meaningful, and added side order of public awkwardness to the mix.’ 

Over 100 commenters replied to the post, with many advising the mother-of-five to leave the marriage

While another person asked: ‘It sounds like you’ve been let down and disappointed for years. Why do you choose to stay?’

However other users suspected there was more to the woman’s post, and even questioned if she was possibly overreacting. 

One wrote: ‘I think you’re massively overreacting. You’ve been happy to stay married to him for 25 years without a wedding ring, but now because he has given you one without fanfare such as getting down on one knee, you want to leave him?! This isn’t really about the ring, is it?’

A second questioned the woman’s feelings, writing: ‘After 25 years and five children, what were you expecting? Why is a wedding ring and how it is given so important all of a sudden?’

And another person added: ‘I have a feeling there is more to this than what you’ve mentioned. It’s a s****y way of giving you a ring but it’s not worth breaking up your family over.’

A third added: ‘If they have a marriage where they don’t make romantic gestures to each other then perhaps it felt a bit cringe worthy for him to change the habit of a lifetime.’

And  a fellow commenter said they didn’t understand what the woman wanted, arguing it would have been ‘really odd’ for him to stage a proposal when they’ve been married for so long. 

‘I can’t think of a way he could have given to you otherwise which wouldn’t be really odd, cheesy and frankly a shedload more embarrassing than what occurred,’ she said.

‘It’s the sort of thing that should not have been done in front of others. Someone says, “Wedding ring has arrived and us on the bench”, it’s opened without fanfare, check it is what was ordered and fits and move on.’ 

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