My husband of 33 years no longer turns me on and I want to cheat

DEAR DEIDRE: FOR the 33 years we have been together, I have been faithful to my husband.

But now I am desperate for a lover as he doesn’t turn me on any more.

I am 61, he is 65 and we have three grown-up children.

We have had a happy marriage but I don’t think I am in love with my husband, although I do love him very much.

We had a good sex life but, since he was diagnosed with terminal cancer just over a year ago, he has lost all interest.

When we do have sex, it’s over in the blink of an eye.

Leaving him is not an option but I do wish we could have exciting sex.

I dream of having a lover and doing all the things my husband and I used to enjoy. I feel so frustrated.

I know it might be a shocking thing to say, but if it wasn’t for the lockdown restrictions, I think I would have already cheated.

DEIDRE SAYS: It’s understandable you feel your life has been turned upside down – but cheating is not the answer.

Your husband has lost his confidence as a man and won’t be feeling attractive.

Talk to him about different ways you can still be intimate without intercourse.

He doesn’t have to feel sexual desire to be affectionate.

Suggest you share a massage to enjoy closeness again.

My support pack Couples Massage explains how.

Talk to MacMillan Cancer Support (, 0808 808 0000).

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